Okay, here it goes…I’M PREGNANT!
It feels so surreal to finally type that out. Even now, I am pretty sure I’m still in shock, but I will say that I’m so relived to be sharing this news with you all. I have a lot to talk about today, but first let’s go over the details everyone always wants to know. I’m 15 weeks pregnant & I’m due this September. OKAY, now are you ready for the longest, most detailed post of my life?! Let’s begin…
A LITTLE BACKGROUND
Dan and I had been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years. We were referred to a fertility specialist in May 2018 and started exploring our options. I won’t get into the details too much, but for me it all came back to ovulation, which was basically non-existent. I went through what felt like countless tests and medications, ultrasounds, blood work, sonohysterograms – you name it.
Each month of new medication, timing things perfectly around opposite schedules, followed by negative tests became more and more stressful. We were frustrated, over it, and ready for the next steps. We met with our fertility specialist again before the holidays and were scheduled to start IVF in February 2019. Now each person’s story has a different ending and I feel so lucky to be where we are today. Dan & I were blessed with a miracle right before starting IVF, and I count my blessings every day.
To anyone going through pregnancy struggles, my heart is with you. Infertility is such a personal journey and everyone has a different story. I know there are women who have struggled much longer and my heart breaks for any couple who is still dealing with an infertility diagnosis of any kind. Please know, that no matter what your future plans for a family look like – even if they are very different than you imagined them to be – you are stronger than you know and you are going to be okay.
WHEN DID WE FIND OUT
Let’s rewind to the holidays. I was relaxed and finally felt like my mind was at ease to have some type of fertility plan in place. I knew that IVF was not an easy journey – my cousin was going through IVF at this time – but it felt good to know we had a new game plan. I tried to take each day, one at a time and we hosted a wonderful Christmas with our families and spent a quiet NYE at home (hello early 30’s).
I felt a little off after the holidays were over but assumed I was just struggling to get back into the normal swing of things. I was 99.9% sure I wasn’t pregnant, but took a test on January 2nd just to be sure. That night, I got my very first POSITIVE test. I sat on my bathroom floor, shocked, amazed, excited, ugly crying – for probably a good 30 minutes. Dan was traveling for work for that week and I really wanted to share the news in person with him. Sitting on that secret was probably the longest week of my life.
He got home the following week and I ordered from our favorite pizza place. On the inside of the pizza box I wrote, “Congrats Danny, you’re going to be a Daddy!” He came in the door, kissed me, and we got ready for dinner. I ANXIOUSLY sat in front of the pizza as he went for the box. He opens it and smiles, thanks me for getting dinner, and carries it over to the table. “He didn’t see it, it’s okay, he will see it, “ I tell myself. We sit down and he opens the box again, grabs a slice, and closes the box. “OMG, did I write it too small? Is this really happening?!”
He goes on for a good 10 minutes telling me about work and at this point, I have no idea what he is saying. I have one thing on my mind and can no longer handle the suspense. Patience is not my thing guys. I crack. “DAN, look inside the box!!!” I meant to catch this entire interaction on video, but I was so nervous delivering the news and could barely keep it together (CLEARLY). It doesn’t even matter though because I will forever remember his reaction. As tacky as it sounds, I fell in love with him all over again seeing his happiness.
HOW I FELT IN THE FIRST TRIMESTER
I had the typical pregnancy symptoms throughout the first trimester. Nausea, fatigue, headaches, bad skin…the works. Luckily, I rarely had to throw up but the dizziness was so uncomfortable and lasted for most of the day. All I wanted to do was lay on the couch under a big blanket, and you guys, a lot of days that’s exactly what I did.
Keeping my normal workout routine has also been a struggle for me. Before pregnancy, I was working out 4 – 5 days, but by the time I’m done working for the day, I’m so exhausted and don’t always make it. When I do have the energy, the elliptical or treadmill has been my best friend. Even if it’s just walking, it definitely feels great to keep moving.
To be 100% honest, I am struggling a little with seeing some of the body changes but trying to not beat myself up too bad and remember I am MAKING A HUMAN. And that alone, is pretty freaking cool. I will be sharing a post in the next few days on the things that got me through the first trimester, so stay tuned.
Overall, my motivation took a hit over the first trimester. I have definitely felt guilty for my lack of posts and Stories, so it feels good to finally share the news and explain why I was a little quiet the last three months. Luckily, at 15 weeks I am feeling better each day and I’m so excited to share this journey with you all.
I initially thought I would wait longer to officially announce, but once I recognized how much sharing would help me get excited and make it more real, it was a no brainer. Even just typing this post is getting me excited. It might be sad to say, but social media is a really big part of my life and I appreciate the relationships I’ve built with you guys probably more than you know.
Well, I’m officially in the second trimester and starting to feel a little more like myself. We still don’t know the gender and are debating on finding out at our 20 week appointment or getting an earlier 3D Ultrasound scan. I will keep you posted on that.
I also just made my first baby purchase and have a crib on the way. You can expect nursery pics in the near future.
Seeing as my life is going to change, you will also be seeing some changes around here. I am so excited to share this new chapter of our lives – pregnancy, motherhood, family life – while still being me and sharing my everyday style. Is it always going to be pretty? Do we have ANY idea what we are doing? Heck no, but that’s life and I have never been more excited to share this journey. You guys, WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!